The Studied Financier (4)

 4

Miss Alfuzu Cullchipps was a small, nervous woman, whose flaxen hair was thinning. One might say that her only marked feature was a large bruise over her left eyebrow, which gave her a faintly rough air incongruous with the rest of her appearance. 

“Oh,” she said when she opened her cabin door. “Welcome.”

She must have saw me staring at the bruise, wondering how I had missed it the first time I saw her. 

“Sorry, I ran into an open door trying to find the lights in here.” I made a mental note to remind the staff to leave at least one light on in every room after they finished cleaning. 

“It’s most kind of you to check up on us,” she kept repeating as we walked into the living area of the cabin, rapidly blinking her weak little eyelids. “I appreciate it very deeply, very deeply, indeed, and so would my grandfather, only he’s so deaf. Don’t feel bad if you want to give up making him understand anything. It’s been very hard all day,” she added, “with the body in the last room and all this commotion of moving. It’s what Pappy and me have never been used to, always living very relaxed. It’s been most distressing to a those of us with regular habits. I’m almost thankful Pappy doesn’t understand. I’m sure it would worry him terribly if he knew all about it. He was upset at  first because we had to move, but he’s made up some idea of his own about it now. I’m sure it’s all for the best.”

The old man who sat watching the wall com-tab, he had turned as we entered and then nodded grimly in response to his granddaughter.

“I always said as you ought to complain about that leaky faucet, Alfuzu,” he said suddenly, in the high, piping voice peculiar to the almost-deaf, “and I hope they will see to it now. But I think we might have managed without having to change rooms! You always were one to make a fuss about a little thing.”

“You see how it is,” said Miss Cullchipps repentantly to us as she invited us to sit down at the dining table. “Granted, it’s just as well he’s settled on that, because it was easier to get him to move. My nerves are all to pieces. This is the second time this has happened to us.” I couldn’t stop my eyebrow from shooting up. 

“This cruiseshuttle was so much higher rated than the last,” she continued, “I never imagined it would happen again. Such a state I was in this morning—I didn’t know if I was on my head or my heels. I’ve hardly known what to do with myself. I am just happy that you were so understanding and let us move. I guess that’s what your higher rating is for. The last shuttle made us stay in the room and just ‘cleaned up’ around us. I don’t think I was able to eat the rest of that trip.”

“I’m sure it must have been uncommonly distressing,” I said sympathetically. “We here at the Ritzavoy IX do our best to keep dead bodies out of all the rooms and would never make a guest stay in a room with one.”

Detective Marshaggins snorted. I kicked him under the table, maintaining my concerned smile. His snort turned into a groan, and Miss Cullchipps looked at him and frowned.

“Gout. Sorry.” 

Satisfied, she turned back to me. 

“When I saw that dreadful thing lying there in my bath baby-naked except for that odd pair of glasses, I assure you, it turned my stomach if you’ll excuse the expression. I’m not very strong, and I get that sinking feeling sometimes in the morning, and what with one thing and another I had to stop at the Cyborg Tavern for a stiff brandy, or I don’t know what would have happened.”

“Very wise of you,” I said cheerfully. “It’s wonderful what a little drink will do in an emergency.”

“Miss Cullchipps,” the detective began, “can you please relate everything you remember about this morning?”

“Well,” she said, getting more solemn as she tried to remember, “we got up around 05:00, and I fixed some bran cereal for Pappy—”

“I mean when you got to your room,” the detective said testily.

“Oh, Pappy and I were shocked we had been moved to such a nice one! Did you see—” 

“Not this room!” he said exasperated. I kicked him again and he grunted.

“Miss Cullchipps, can you remember what you were doing when you found the body?” I tried.

“Oh, that’s easy. We had gotten to the room and unpacked everything, but I kept hearing this odd noise. I told Pappy about it, but he couldn’t hear anything. That’s when I decided to check to see if the faucet in the bathroom was dripping. I didn’t turn on the light because I was just going in to make sure it was shut off properly. You know how some people are—they can never shut the faucet off all the way. So, I tried both knobs and found they were off, but the dripping continued. That’s when Pappy came to the door and turned on the lights. He never came into the bathroom but just stood there and lectured me about not being able to do anything with the lights off. Those lights came on, and that’s when I had the scare of my life because I saw the body sitting there staring at me in the mirror. 

“I screamed. Pappy thought I had seen a snake and went to find something to kill it with, and I got out of that bathroom quick. I shut the door and told Pappy to stay out before coming to ask for a change.” 

“Did you bring the body with you?” the detective asked gruffly. I glared at him.

“What good would a body be to us?” she asked. 

“No use at all. It stands to reason you wouldn’t go around collecting bodies and taking them on vacation. Who’d want to saddle herself with a body? It’s extraordinarily difficult to get rid of them,” I said. “Do you happen to remember if the door between the rooms was open when you got there?”

“Oh, that I know. Pappy was very upset about the whole thing and said burglars could have gotten in. I don’t know what they would have burgled since there was no one in our side and it looked like the other side was pretty cleared out, too, but it’s no use arguing with Pappy. Can I get you some tea?” 

“No thanks. I think that’s about all I need. Let me know if you think of anything else,” the detective said.

“I hope the rest of your cruise is exceptional,” I added as we headed out the door.