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Samh 10.20.1339 15:12
Three weeks later, Valanthus was sitting in the parlor with the two women discussing how to avoid the wrong kind of men. He had been pleased that not only had Katamitoria joined their sparring session but she was making progress in her own way. She would never be as bold as Amoranda, but she now had some skills should she need them.
He believed these sessions where he spoke with both the women about recognizing a reprobate upon meeting him and then discussed how to boldly avoid them would prove to be even more important for Katamitoria since she was soon to be on her own. They had found a condo in a gated community that only allowed screened residents into it. This not only gave her the security she needed, the community to support her, and a maintenance-free environment without having to pay servants, but it was easily within her budget.
“You see,” he said, “a man of true judgment and good understanding has much contempt for the flirt. He is looking for a woman who has eyes only for himself, and he will never pressure a woman to go beyond her comfort zone. However, even if a woman is self-sufficient and capable in every way, if she entertains numerous men and encourages them all to court her, the right kind of man will steer clear. Think about your own feelings—would you go chasing after a man who was constantly in the company of twenty women and fawning over all of them. No. You would suspect him of being unfaithful to all.”
“But if you don’t dine with men and spend time in their company, how would you even meet the right one? I mean—no offense—but you have never married anyone. Perhaps if you had spent a little more time with some women instead of putting your youth into your work, you might have found the right woman,” Amoranda chided.
“Or perhaps I found the right woman, but she was a flirt. Since she did not want to give me her time but wanted to share her time with everyone else, I decided it wasn’t worth it,” he gazed into Amoranda’s eyes. “It was far easier on my heart to work than to be constantly trying to compete with others for her attention. When you truly love, you want not only that person to love you back with devotion but also that person to be happy. If that person’s happiness is in someone else and not in you, then you let that person go.”
“But what about me? I only flirted with Kieron. Even if others had come to Cook’s door, once I believed he loved me, I would not have strayed. How was I to know he was not sincere?” Katamitoria asked.
“In his case, he was pressuring you to move too fast. He did the same thing to Amoranda, but I believe she balked at it since her heart was not committed to him.”
“In that sense, it seems her flirtatious nature was better for her heart because it kept her from being attached to any particular man. She could easily discard the cads who tried to pressure her.”
“Ah,” Amoranda sighed, “but I must confess that Silvergor is right when he says being a flirt is bad. My heart might not have been engaged to Kieron, but it was not engaged to any of the men who visited me. Sadly, it was the same men who came each day. If I had never opened the doors of my house and had instead forced men to meet me at the museum or other places where we could have shared a mutual hobby, I might have found the man who did turn my eye. It also did not stop those rogues from plotting to take me by force or deception. I can think of no worse fate that to be shackled in some man’s basement the rest of my life with my freedom and estate gone to his pernicious habits.”
“The compliments of those men,” Valanthus added, “are also nothing more than the compliments of a dog. They lick you and cater to you and jump all over you, but they would be just as loyal to anyone dangling meat before them. Empty flattery is nothing to build your vanity upon.”
“Were you ever flattered when you were a young man?” Amoranda asked him.
“There was a girl, and I believed her to be mine. At first, she did flatter me—not with empty words, but with her true admiration. However, we were very young. As she grew, she soon discovered I was not the only fish in the pond so to speak, and we had a falling out.”
“I think I need to learn to tell the difference between false flattery and true admiration,” Katamitoria said.
“The first clue is the context. Is it something sporadic that slipped out or does the man always seem to be looking for a time to give you another compliment. Do the compliments come with a price—is he looking for something from you after giving them? These are all signs of insincerity. The second clue is the degree. Are you beautiful—does your clothing set off your eyes in just the right manner? Or, are you the most beautiful woman in the universe? When you have risen above every other woman on the planet, you have risen into the realm of false flattery.”
Amoranda looked at him quizzically and started to say something, but they were interrupted by a servant.
“You have two guests, Madam.”
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